A Little Bit of FFFFFUUUUUUUUUU….

To make your day nice.

P.S.  It gets even better around 1:30

Eat up…

Courtesy of our friend dylan (meaning he gave us this picture, this isn’t dylan’s gaping vagina). bleh….

The Drummer KC

THE DRUMMER KC

 

It’s hard to believe that the faster you drum, the cooler you are, every time. THE DRUMMER KC has made a livelyhood out of this caveot, which he will milk like a diseased crackwhore’s syphilis tit until he dies of something really fucking extreme. It is impossible that this guy can live past age 40, because everybody knows that the brighter the flame, the faster the wick, or whatever. This guy showed up to our prom, and literally did a drum solo for 40 minutes, rockin’ a hat bedazzled with “Proms Rock” across the front. I know what I want to do when I grow up.

On a side note, why has THE DRUMMER KC not been elected their leader?

I have a Cartoon Porn Addiction but it’s one of those addictions you don’t feel ashamed of, you know? Part 2.

Did you watch “Hey Arnold” as a kid and ever think to your self “why won’t Arnold and Helga just get it on already?”

Well instead there’s this:

Sure that’s nice and all but what should really get you going is “Land Before Time” three ways:

Chances are if you type in your favorite cartoon into google and then add “porn” to the end of it there’s bound to be some image horrifying enough to keep you up at nights and make you wonder if you still have a penis.

One image can ruin a childhood but no amount of showers can wash away the guilt.

This is one of the most fucked up things i’ve ever posted

Sorry God…..please forgive me

I was hesitant about including this into the blog…but this blog is the not safe for anywhere humor blog, I had to. Sorry everyone.

*edit* Found this while looking up the background of how what happened could ever happen. 

 

I believe that this movie stands to win double oscars for most unlikely movie to be greenlighted by a production house and most horrifying movie poster, simultaneously.

Things that may have been overlooked

1. The numerous lists available at adultswim.com, ranging from lists of best sex clips from creepy anime to a list of best barfs: Link

2. Also, a potential internet phenomenon, read the description, the video isn’t anything:

Joseph was killed tragically when my husband and I used him selfishly in a game of “bait the snake”. Anal eroticism can be a beautiful and very personal thing shared between two consenting partners…only we did not take into consideration Josephs feelings. While he was inside of my husbands rectum, he broke out of the safety bag and proceeded to climb his way deep inside of my husband causing him great physical pain. There he lived for many hours until he finally suffocated to death. My husband and I tried valiantly to rescue him..but he went too deep and he was lost. My husband finally passed his body earlier today and we buried him in our small pet cometary on my mothers property. We hope there he will find some small measure of peace. 

We have decided to discontinue the use of our pets in our games and from now on will only be using pets we buy specifically for sex and then kill immediately after. This way no more animals are harmed for our selfish pleasures.

I love you Joseph, more than you ever knew

thanks to Zach Huber

The Front Fell Off…

I have no idea what this is from, but I love it.

And why not….

Microsoft Paint…worst program in the world right? WRONG

 

 

 

Sawwy Jesse

I have a Cartoon Porn Addiction but it’s one of those addictions you don’t feel ashamed of, you know? Part 1.

Yes yes. If you ever want your childhood ruined (or enhanced) then cartoon porn is for you.  One of my favorite sites is of course the aptly titled cartoonpornblog.net

Here is a tidbit of the blog from a January 6th post:

“Let’s start this wonderful cartoon journey with sexy scenes of famous cartoon housewives getting down and showing all those sexy curves. They look hotter than you ever imagined and they are ready for committing sins. On the other hand you got this insatiable Velma gets a taste of animal sex with that crazy dog Scooby Doo that goes mental after ramming her horny cunt. Even busty looking Pocahontas gets surprised when young Indian boy approaches her from the back and starts licking her delicious red vagina. Lot of big cartoon porn surprises are still hidden inside!

Hard doesn’t even begin to describe my penis right now.

More to come on this lovely internet porn meme.

Safe For Anywhere Humor?

Hard Core Porn
Pard Hore Corn
Card Pore Horn
Hard Pore Corn
Pard Core Horn

You get the point.

PG Porn

Holy Crap! Toilet Paper “Researchers” Create 3-Ply Tissue

In what is surely the technological breakthrough of the century, the brightest toilet paper minds at Georgia Pacific have done the impossible—they have created a 3-ply tissue. I know, I know…it’s hard to contain your excitement. Can you imagine what this means? I mean, to wipe with something with this caliber of softness? It boggles the mind. However, industry analyst Bill Schmitz is skeptical, saying that the TP of the future will most likely be stronger, not softer—but my ass and I are hoping for the best.

Block quoted from Gizmodo, for its brilliance.

[LiveScience via Gizmodo]

Quesedillas, Anyone?

Apparently one boobie-loving Santa Clara, Calif. man, when put out of work from a record store, decided that his best new venture would be in the form of human breast milk products.  Starting with his wife Holly, he soon expanded his dairy to include a whole arsenal of lactating women.

Not only does Marker do brisk business with human breast milk, but he’s creating totally new markets for human breast cheese (Miss Cheese), human breast yogurt (YoGoGirls) and human breast ice cream (Bosomberry, Chunky Mammal).

Yes, but does it come in Brie?

Up next: Ham and Smegma! The dick cheese sandwich.

[lala times]

Some Quick Things to Ruin Your Day:

A re-edit of the classic ATHF Episode. Oh my, about a magic dog named Hand Banana.

And something to ruin all aspects of Native American culture all at once.

Yay for racial sensitivity!

First Post – Small World of Stumbling

I do not lie, I just Stumbleupon’d this page.

http://www.seagoingturnip.com/

Hilarious. This new NSFAH is amazing!

Who would think of this?

Sadomasochism is the best!

Exclusive: Celebrity and/or Political Figure Tapes Self in Drug Binge

Also, uses very little toilet paper to wipe self.

which remind me of eww. Either Sheryl Crow has a teflon ass, or there is something very rotten in Denmark. And by that I mean Lance Armstrong has a poopy dick.

Sarah Palin Is Just Regular:

Ahh…Sarah Palin

What’s the difference between her and a bulldog eating mayonnaise?  Lipsticks.

The New Yorker’s “Shouts and Murmurs” section does a hilarious tirade on all things Bulldog/Palin.

Check it out - Brilliance.

And by the way…the answer is lipstick.

It’s Not A Kitten…

But it will do.

Exclusive: Every man, woman and child loves physical violence

And that’s why you’ll watch this video

and then click this. It’s like if football were fun to watch, and followed you to your work.

Time to crank it up a notch: The funniest porno in the world.

CAUTION: These videos are so NSFA and dirty I am scrubbing myself with a loofah as we speak.

First up we have the man who unfortunately started to pass a kidney stone in the middle of sex.

The Kidney Stone

Next up, a mistake we all make at some point in our lives.

An Accident

And finally the guy I learned all my tricks from.

Angry Sex

Favorite line: “Nobody tells me no!”

Mike and Yikes! Definetly one you want to bring home for dinner.

Titties? More like Kitties!

So that last post was just hands down some funny porn. However, truth be told, there’s nothing that gives me wood more than watching low quality videos of cats doing stupid shit. So, here it is, my personal best of youtube’s cats.

Classic shit right here

Filth.

Hey, kids! Remember to always be the best worst you can be!

House Keeping

Pimp My Pimp.

Botched circumcisions = Funny?

I can’t decide if this is that kind of horrible unfortunate-ness that is actually so unfortunate it’s funny or if it really is just sad and unfortunate.

You decide.

Surgery Alright!

Loud.

Rise to the Challenge.

Some Pictures to Engender Confusion and Awe!

Sometimes the world is just so goddamn funny and fascinating.

First, some fascination:

http://www.picsyard.com/From_egg_to_chicken

Everyone gets confused at ony time or another.

That is a true statement.

YEEEEAHHH.

If you’ve been a regular reader, this will help explain the comic two posts down.

Oh primetime television, you’re the worst.

YEEEEEEEEEEAH.

More intarnet tomfoolery!

^If the internet makes you do this then you’re doing it right!

A little bit of everything.

Hey fuckheads! If you’re like me you love yourself some teagoes(tits), but Juno, sometimes you can’t always get ahold of some. That’s where the Japanese and your handy dandy iPhone step in, or should I say come in? (should I? help me). Anyway, basically this a boob application for your iPhone.

Boobs

Hey fuckheads! If you’re like me you love Sarah Palin, not because she’s an idiot, but for her VILF and MILF like qualities. Well here’s something to get your knickers in a twist. Sarah in the1984 Miss Alaska beauty pageant.

Hey fuckheads! (still funny the third time? nope, but you lovely bitches and hoes should know I’m trying to correct this). If you’re like me you love Star Wars merchandise and dead Ewoks.

Go here for the rest of them

Rejected Star Wars Toys

And in honor of The Office season Premiere:

Man sues for butt stapled shut.

A Baltimore man is suing his doctor, claiming he had his rectum stapled shut.

Thank you Nintendo, for confusing the shit out of me with this new ad.

If only these two were running for office.

Finally, when I get married I hope to god this is the dress she chooses.

Getting the hang of it….aight?

Here is a jolly video that will embrace your inner dumbass.

A Skit.

Give it a listen.

BAM

We don’t know why but it’s funny.

The Funniest Man In The (Porn) Business

THIS guy.

Watch and you will laugh.  Hopfully not feel aroused.

And, for your consideration:

Vag Pain

We all remember Charlie Van Leuven vag crushing ways.  Well, Nikki Blonsky can do it, too.

Hairspray Chick Squabble

Look, drugs are good and bad

There have been countless arguments about the validity of drugs in our current world. You decide

Meth good(funny):

Meth horrible(horrible):

Drunk good:

drunk Horrible:

Salvia good(scary):

salvia bad(boring):

Weed good(Because Dave Chappelle is made of raw THC):

Weed Bad:

Space – Exploring the Void

(Block quoted from Gizmodo):

I’ve got some good news for those of you who hold the seriousness of space exploration dear, and bad news for those of you who like to watch videos of two people doin’ it: someone wanted to make a porn in space, and Virgin Galactic said no.

Apparently, a company offered VG a cool million for the opportunity to shoot the world’s first space porn. That’s more than the $200,000 they’re charging per person for a flight, but it’s unclear how the deal would have worked. Is that a million for the two actors, the director and the cameraperson? If so, that’s not a very generous offer. If it’s a million on top of four tickets, well, that’s a bit more generous.

But still, I can’t help feeling like that’s a pretty low offer. Come on, Hefner. You can swing more than that, can’t you? In the name of science? I’m sure Virgin Galactic is a dignified company and everything, but everyone has their price. Let’s make this happen.

Oh well…it could have been.

Alright….here’s another.

I hate Andy Roddick

I love the Ultimate Warrior

Things of Note

If you’ve ever done the nasty in the shower and have always wanted a better place to grab onto, look no further.

Sarah Palin lookalike needed for porno.

Ultimate Warrior Follow Up

Hilarious follow up to Ultimate Warrior.

Plus! Being “Green” is all about recycling, right?

Used Condoms

True Deception

Sometimes what we see on the outside isn’t the same on the inside.

And sometimes what we see from the backside isn’t the same on the frontside.

Also, Justice’s new trailer for their live DVD A Cross the Universe may not be funny, but the content of the video is definitely UNSAFE!

Check It

^^^I assure there will be more of these.^^^

fucking sunday nights. i should do something productive right about now. or I could always go to sleep.

I was playing intensely hard on my guitar this weekend wasting my time learning tabs for dumb songs and now I have a blood blister on my thumb and a new item on the ever-growing list of things I should never type into google image search. Kudos to whoever can accurately guess where the blood blister in the picture below is located, use your imagination, not the image title.

The truest thing probably ever on the topic of fake hair

actually, Nick Cage has cancer, so this isn’t funny at all. But it explains the wigs.

Political Passion.

Oh Obama

Sarah Palin Sex Doll. YES.

Hooray 69 Awkward

 

http://fleshbot.com/388029/todays-forecast-69-and-awkward

here we are….enjoy it.

Dirt Nasty

The Misfortune of Others

Best. 21st Birthday. Ever

Tucker Max, Sex and Debauchary God. Read this, cry with laughter, then read everything else in his fucked up life. I pray that I meet someone like this in my life.

Mac vs. PC

Mac’s new anti-vista ads are sharp and to-the-point.  Here some computer comedy about such battles.

Squab

So…

According to the description, she have three tits.

I Can’t Believe It’s Not…

…it’s not booty.

It’s like a homoerotic future fight club. And it’ll ruin you.

Soon you’ll be singing along.

Word Association

I’m a little drunk, studying for my chinese midterm. According to Schrodigner’s cat, this could be me right now.

Nailin’ Palin

Hey, all! It’s election day so we’re all using our “I Voted” stickers to get free shwag.  It also means we may have possibly the most unqualified best! vice president ever.   Here’s a link to get to know her a little better.

So Cuuuute!

Hey there world.

Dogs Barfing

I’ve always wondered what it’s like when dogs barf. Someone told me once that the effect sounds like a combination of the dog yelling and spitting at the same time, which actually seems hilarious. Turns out it’s more Carrot-Top than Gallagher.

and also someone leaked the new remix of that Kanye track, harder. Check it !

Our dirty minds. (One where babies are born, two where there’s corn.)

Please please please there has to be a different meaning to this other than the one we’re all thinking. How does this kind of thing happen? This really sums up his whole presidency.

There is apperently a different meaning to this video also…

So who else got an awkward erection watching that?

Zune Vs. iPod

iPod:

Zune:

Which one do you want?

This Is Just To Show That Redheads Are Better

This isn’t humor.  Just, Redheads are better. A fact.

Everybody loves farts

And Cake, and pudding, and peanut butter. Farting and eating go hand in hand.

Ok…so i have this friend.

Food fetishes are serious things. Everything in the site below is absolutely real. I take my friend’s problem very seriously. SOOO without further ado I introduce my friend (please be nice)…….

Oh, Herro.

A few things.  I haven’t posted in a while.

1. Who’s getting this for christmas? You are. CLICK.

2. Star Wars Porn? The finest on the web. CLICK.

3. This picture. Curious, curious elephants.

Touch My Body…

This made me smile….

Axis of Evil…Movies

Germans. Japanese. Crazy movie trailers ensue by clicking on links.

They’re wacky like that picture down there.

Nazi Zombie Cabin Horror Teen Movie

Japanese Funny Cloverfield Hulk GoJira  Monsters

Have you ever wanted to fuck a celebrity?

Except instead of focusing intently on your undeserving and (fictionally) massive member penetrating their famous and perfect vaginas, they seem to be reciting dialogue from the last movie they were in (or, in the case of Madonna, the last movie she looked f’able in) and never ever moving their neck? this is for that guy:

http://www.redtube.com/6137

(edit): redtube.com needs to learn how to embed things. so above is the link to the video. Completely safe website.

but seriously, if you’re gonna go through all that effort, wouldn’t it be cool to have like audrey hepburn or another vagina, or a giant boob?

Dragons.

Hey all, here’s a quick little doozy on Dragons. To be perfectly honest, I didn’t know a lot of this was possible. Enjoy & have fun!

I didn't know it was possible.

Yay alternative sex!

Dragon Rider yah! (note the special attention paid to his testicles)

And for a change of pace...

Pretty Pony

This is great, i really like this.

Neat.

Hey you stupid nut-smoker, stop looking like a human cartoon character!

I am going to hell.

I’ve been watching Wonder Showzen, thanks to Matt.  It is so awful and great. Here’s a taste of their saturday morning cartoon.

Clickit or ticket or lickit.

Finally, tickle your eyeballs with this fine picture.

-Steve

Comic Book Nostalgia

Comic books used to say some dirty, gay odd sounding things.

Always wanking people.

Get it? He's supposed to be Japanese.

Because all black people are pimps?

Ummmmm.... What?